You know sometimes I read about a story of what God is doing in someone else's life and I think, "Man, that person must have the most amazing walk with God!" Before I know, I have put that person on a plain higher than others, and think they must be super spiritual! I know I have done this with musicians, preachers, teachers, pastors, authors, and others. I tend to start thinking they have found the key to living above a normal human being.
I remember the utter SHOCK when I watched the movie "Ragamuffin, The Story of Rich Mullins!" I literally grew up thinking that he had to be the most spiritual person alive to sing songs with such depth, emotion, and passion for his Savior. Then I watch a movie that shows a man who struggled with loneliness, anger, fear, and drinking. Then I saw video clips where he talked about his struggles with pornography. I was literally crushed! I thought to myself, "How can a man sing about an Awesome God and cry out "Hold Me Jesus" if he wrestled so heavily with sin?
However, I also identified with this same man because I know my own heart and the darkness that dwells in it. I know how easily I am brought to the miry clay and like a pig, I roll in it and revel in the depth of my struggles. I see how much I want to accept the glory for things in my life that only God deserves credit for! My heart cries out to be holy, but my flesh screams out to be noticed and loved!
That is why I feel sometimes it is important to just Keep It Real!
I started this journal of God's provisions and lessons to me in order to encourage others to know God is still alive and active and providing for his children. I wanted others to see the amazing story He had done in my life and have hope that He knows their needs and is their to provide as He has promised to do! Not to be a genie in a bottle to give us what we want, but to uphold His word that if we seek His kingdom first, that he would add to us clothing, food, drink, shelter, and all the things the world craves and lust after! So when He did an amazing story in my life I felt compelled to share it! (If you have not read it from the beginning, start HERE)
Amazingly enough though, even after GOD did such a MIGHTY and unbelievable work, and I have shared it with as many as who would listen, I realized this week that maybe to some I had become the guy I talked about in the first paragraph. To some, they see me when I am in the middle of the Passion and glory of what God has done, and they miss the moments I am under the covers hiding in fear because I wonder if tomorrow He is going to finish what He started. Or they miss the guy who tells God's story of giving him a farm (literally) who then turns around and thinks it is by his own efforts that his Barndominium is being built. Yes, I am one and the same guy! I wrestle with a man inside who strives to be noticed, liked, appreciated, and even important enough to contribute to his own story.
That is where these past few weeks have found me. As I forged through anger toward a man building my barn who took 2 months longer to finish than we agreed upon and then wanted to charge me more. I decided to take it upon myself to set him straight (thankfully, and hopefully, god intervened enough to not allow me to do something foolish to damage His good name!) I also took upon myself to figure on how much money I needed to complete the project and figured I had attained the amount and I was sort of giving him glory, but I was really patting my own back and thinking how I had contributed to it.
Praise be to God who loves me enough to crush me once again! He loved me so much that he allowed me to be slapped right in the face with the realization that I was no where close to being able to finish what I had started. As people started asking things about drywall, trim, doors, appliances, floors, kitchen cabinets, I suddenly realized in all my brilliant planning, I had not stopped to figure on those things. Suddenly I realized how desperately short I was going to come up. The unsettling feeling of failing my wife and not being able to give her her hearts desire began to overwhelm me. I sat down and figured over and over how I could fix the situation without asking for help. What all I could sell to finish the Barn House. How could I do it on my own power so my wife, kids, and others would be like, "Ray you sure are an awesome guy to build a place like this and you even gave up (fill in blank) to make it happen!" The truth however was I began to realize I was going to fail no matter what I did, I became overwhelmed with sorrow, shame, and I started to sink into my pit of despair! I found myself in a bed under the sheets, breathing rapidly and crying out, "God, where are you? Have you brought me this far only to abandon me?"
But like I said, what a GOOD DADDY who loves me enough to say, RAY!!!!!!!!!! Do you remember how this all started? How desperate and hopeless you were? What did you do? Yes son, you cried out to your Daddy. You asked Me for things that were seemingly beyond reason. You asked ME to supply what everyone else would say was unthinkable. You asked me in boldness, just like my servant George Mueller, and did I not prove Myself to you? Did I not give you what your heart desired out of the abundance of MY riches? Did I not promise to finish the work I had started? Remember how I reminded you of all the good things I had already done in your life? And do you not remember how I said I wanted you to share this story so people would know I AM here and still doing amazing works among my children? Do you also remember that the purpose of telling the story was that I, God, would receive ALL the Glory! Why have you tried to take back some of this story for your own glory? Why have you tried to do what only I could do? Remember Ray, only I can finish what I have begun! Give me back my story and my Glory!
Wow! Here I was thinking I was riding a wave of closeness to God, yet I was stealing from Him! I was trying to take credit for part of His story, and He is such a loving God, He let me try, he let me fail, so I would again be laying at His feet, where I love to be, crying out to Him! And there, in an instance, He lifted me up, he took off the burden I was carrying, and he said, I Love you Ray, just like you are, even when you try and steal from me! I love you Son, just like I love myself! Give me your heavy burden that you have put on your back, I have got this all covered. You just go back to asking me for all the things you need to finish your home and this thing I began 2 years ago, and watch me in wonder and all as I pour out of MY riches and give you a home. And when it is finished Ray, don't forget to tell them MY STORY and give me ALL THE GLORY! I like you so much kid, I want to use you to show Myself off to my people and to the world around you!
Man, what an AMAZING God! if you are interested, stay tuned as I look forward to God allowing me to one day soon tell you "The Rest of His Story!"
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Consumed by Zeal!!!
This past weekend in our family devotions, we looked at the story of Jesus clearing out the Temple. Of course it was under the "Agents of Smash" study I am doing with the kids, however, the words "Zeal for my Father's house consumes me!" jumped out at me. Mainly because I have been feeling this zeal and sense that it is consuming me.
You see, Jesus saw something that really pissed him off!!! I know, people say Jesus used "holy" or "righteous" anger, and I understand the seeming need to defend Jesus from any possible connection with sin. However, there is no need to sugar coat this story. To cover the "Jesus did not sin" part, we simply have to see that the action was not anger or reaction due to self preservation, but rather he acted in anger and frustration for God's Glory and on the behalf of the people of Israel! That covers that topic!
Now for the realness of the situation! IF you had been there that day and watched this seen unfold, I bet you would have had this thought, "That Jesus is a crazy man!" Come on! Be real! You know if a guy did something like that at a local mega church, aka, "God's House", you know you would be calling for the police to arrest the man! That is exactly what people watching Jesus was surely thinking, "Where are the soldiers? They need to throw this man in jail!"
Lets also not sugar coat what Jesus was doing! He was literally beating men, animals, and anything in his path with a whip of cords! He was tossing tables, shoving bodies, dumping money, driving animals! In this seen, on that day, he appeared to be a mad man who needed to be restrained. Looking at the scene, one might even ask, "Where were the restrainers at? Why did no one hold Jesus back? What were his disciples thinking?" There may be a lot of unanswered questions, but there are plenty of facts written for us to know, Jesus was one PISSED off dude and he did not "hold it in!"
So I ask, Why? Why did Jesus suddenly let loose? What drove him to have this moment of seeming insanity take over? Why did he act like a mad man and literally "whoop some tail" and clear out the courtyard of the Temple? What was his driving force?
The answer to that is in his words, "You have turned my Father's house, a house meant for prayer, into a den of thieves!" Which reminded the onlooking disciples of the verse from Psalm 69:9, "Zeal for my Father's house has consumed me! And there is two reasons why it consumed him.
1. The temple was built as a place that God could come and dwell amongst his people. Since Genesis 1, God has been working to redeem his people unto himself so that He could once again "walk with them in the garden." That has been his purpose and goal and that was the reason for the temple. It was a place people were suppose to be able to come and be close to God!
2. The people needed to be close to God. Only when His people are able to abide with him can they experience the real joy and meaning of this life. When separated in the Garden by the disobedience of Eve and Adam, the people desired a way to be close to him again. They longed to walk close to him and fellowship with the maker of the Universe and their souls. The temple provided them a place where they could come and enjoy that closeness once again.
However, those who were placed in a position to protect the very gateway for God and his people to commune with each other had made it impossible. God was being kept away from the people because the leaders had made it so hard for the people to come in. They assumed the role of "go between" and made a way to profit on it. That is why their were animals and money changers in the courtyard. Because it cost so much for people to enter, most had to simply no longer come, therefore, the poor, whom God has always had deep affection for were no longer able to come. Thus God was deprived by the traditions of men from being able to commune with his people.
Also, the people who were able to "pay to pray" could no longer enjoy quiet communion with God because of all the noise surrounding them. The cows bellowed and the sheep made noises and the birds flew and chirped and the money changers were loud and obnoxious. So once you paid to get in, and you had to pay, your quiet place to speak to God and hear him, no longer existed. Both God and his people were being kept from each other because of the greed and ignorance of man. Their traditions had come between the most needed relationship of all time, the relationship between God and his bride.
So Jesus literally LOST IT! He was overwhelmed with a passion to see this barrier removed. (BTW, this story is mentioned in all 4 gospel accounts. Matthew 21, Mark 11, Luke 19, and John 2. Must mean it is pretty important.) So he did what any MAN would do, he welled up in a fit of rage and cleared the courtyard and temple of all the barriers and distractions that were between his Dad and Jesus' Bride!
So how does this apply today?
Well, I literally have felt a "monster" inside me growing in strength and anger (much like the Hulk) against the very same thing Jesus started smashing things for. Today, God desires to walk with his people, that is why Jesus died to provide permanent redemption for his people. That is why jesus was willing to face all the trials of this world and three days of separation from his dad. He so wanted his dad, himself, and his bride to be ONE again, he sacrificed it all. Yet here we stand again, in a world with more technology and opportunity than ever before, and we are farther from God than we could ever imagine. And so many of those who were given the role as "protector" and "provider" of this opportunity for intimate communion have lost site of the reality of what they were meant to do. They write books about how their way is the way and their church is the church to model after. They oppress the people by either overloading them with legalistic rules and regulations or they go to the other ditch and make it a "party" to be with God. Lights, camera, action, watch me all over the world (and by the way, send in some money so we can keep this ministry up!) Then there are those trying their best to balance it all out by mixing the two. They have the "holy rules" and try their best to have the "show" without going overboard! Sadly, it is still focused on what they are doing instead of the point, having a "Father's house of prayer!"
So, I am getting that frustrated feeling! I have just about erupted a couple of times and probably would have looked like the lunatic that Jesus did for that short window of time. But folks, the time has come. God desires to be with his people and his people desire to be with Him. It is time for the tactic of "pay your tithe and He will bless you" which is code for "pay to pray and we will all live nicer lives if you do!" has come to an end. It is time for the noise to stop and the legalistic traditions to be set aside. God wants to be with His people and His people want to be with him.
I recent read a book given to me by a pastor friend and it was another pastors attempt to answer the question "Why should I come to church?" He gave his best answers from a pastors point of view whose income is based on you agreeing with him (sorry that is a little hulk coming out in me) and he totally missed the point. It is not that people do not want to be a part of THE Church, the family of God, it is just here in America, we have followed the path of those Jesus drove out! We have made it impossible for God to draw close to his people because we have made it so expensive ( huge mega million dollar buildings that require a great personality who requires a large income to keep the people coming and GIVING so the buildings, expansions, and programs can be paid for) so people literally can't afford to get close, or, we have grown the distractions so large that even if you can pay to pray, it is so loud once you get in, you cannot be intimate with Him. It has all become a show or it has become so burden with rules that neither God nor his people can enjoy communion.
Like it or not folks, the Agents of Smash are rising up and the tables will be turned over and the people driven out. The question is not "Why should I go to church?" or "Why aren't people going to church?" or even, "Should we go to church?" What we should be asking is "How can I again enter into my Father's house of prayer and help others come in too?"
Our God is amazing and wonderful! He is mind blowing and marvelous. And what he desires more than anything is to walk with us in that same intimate fellowship He started in the Garden of Eden! And I want it so much too for myself and all those who long for their Father like I do!
You see, Jesus saw something that really pissed him off!!! I know, people say Jesus used "holy" or "righteous" anger, and I understand the seeming need to defend Jesus from any possible connection with sin. However, there is no need to sugar coat this story. To cover the "Jesus did not sin" part, we simply have to see that the action was not anger or reaction due to self preservation, but rather he acted in anger and frustration for God's Glory and on the behalf of the people of Israel! That covers that topic!
Now for the realness of the situation! IF you had been there that day and watched this seen unfold, I bet you would have had this thought, "That Jesus is a crazy man!" Come on! Be real! You know if a guy did something like that at a local mega church, aka, "God's House", you know you would be calling for the police to arrest the man! That is exactly what people watching Jesus was surely thinking, "Where are the soldiers? They need to throw this man in jail!"
Lets also not sugar coat what Jesus was doing! He was literally beating men, animals, and anything in his path with a whip of cords! He was tossing tables, shoving bodies, dumping money, driving animals! In this seen, on that day, he appeared to be a mad man who needed to be restrained. Looking at the scene, one might even ask, "Where were the restrainers at? Why did no one hold Jesus back? What were his disciples thinking?" There may be a lot of unanswered questions, but there are plenty of facts written for us to know, Jesus was one PISSED off dude and he did not "hold it in!"
So I ask, Why? Why did Jesus suddenly let loose? What drove him to have this moment of seeming insanity take over? Why did he act like a mad man and literally "whoop some tail" and clear out the courtyard of the Temple? What was his driving force?
The answer to that is in his words, "You have turned my Father's house, a house meant for prayer, into a den of thieves!" Which reminded the onlooking disciples of the verse from Psalm 69:9, "Zeal for my Father's house has consumed me! And there is two reasons why it consumed him.
1. The temple was built as a place that God could come and dwell amongst his people. Since Genesis 1, God has been working to redeem his people unto himself so that He could once again "walk with them in the garden." That has been his purpose and goal and that was the reason for the temple. It was a place people were suppose to be able to come and be close to God!
2. The people needed to be close to God. Only when His people are able to abide with him can they experience the real joy and meaning of this life. When separated in the Garden by the disobedience of Eve and Adam, the people desired a way to be close to him again. They longed to walk close to him and fellowship with the maker of the Universe and their souls. The temple provided them a place where they could come and enjoy that closeness once again.
However, those who were placed in a position to protect the very gateway for God and his people to commune with each other had made it impossible. God was being kept away from the people because the leaders had made it so hard for the people to come in. They assumed the role of "go between" and made a way to profit on it. That is why their were animals and money changers in the courtyard. Because it cost so much for people to enter, most had to simply no longer come, therefore, the poor, whom God has always had deep affection for were no longer able to come. Thus God was deprived by the traditions of men from being able to commune with his people.
Also, the people who were able to "pay to pray" could no longer enjoy quiet communion with God because of all the noise surrounding them. The cows bellowed and the sheep made noises and the birds flew and chirped and the money changers were loud and obnoxious. So once you paid to get in, and you had to pay, your quiet place to speak to God and hear him, no longer existed. Both God and his people were being kept from each other because of the greed and ignorance of man. Their traditions had come between the most needed relationship of all time, the relationship between God and his bride.
So Jesus literally LOST IT! He was overwhelmed with a passion to see this barrier removed. (BTW, this story is mentioned in all 4 gospel accounts. Matthew 21, Mark 11, Luke 19, and John 2. Must mean it is pretty important.) So he did what any MAN would do, he welled up in a fit of rage and cleared the courtyard and temple of all the barriers and distractions that were between his Dad and Jesus' Bride!
So how does this apply today?
Well, I literally have felt a "monster" inside me growing in strength and anger (much like the Hulk) against the very same thing Jesus started smashing things for. Today, God desires to walk with his people, that is why Jesus died to provide permanent redemption for his people. That is why jesus was willing to face all the trials of this world and three days of separation from his dad. He so wanted his dad, himself, and his bride to be ONE again, he sacrificed it all. Yet here we stand again, in a world with more technology and opportunity than ever before, and we are farther from God than we could ever imagine. And so many of those who were given the role as "protector" and "provider" of this opportunity for intimate communion have lost site of the reality of what they were meant to do. They write books about how their way is the way and their church is the church to model after. They oppress the people by either overloading them with legalistic rules and regulations or they go to the other ditch and make it a "party" to be with God. Lights, camera, action, watch me all over the world (and by the way, send in some money so we can keep this ministry up!) Then there are those trying their best to balance it all out by mixing the two. They have the "holy rules" and try their best to have the "show" without going overboard! Sadly, it is still focused on what they are doing instead of the point, having a "Father's house of prayer!"
So, I am getting that frustrated feeling! I have just about erupted a couple of times and probably would have looked like the lunatic that Jesus did for that short window of time. But folks, the time has come. God desires to be with his people and his people desire to be with Him. It is time for the tactic of "pay your tithe and He will bless you" which is code for "pay to pray and we will all live nicer lives if you do!" has come to an end. It is time for the noise to stop and the legalistic traditions to be set aside. God wants to be with His people and His people want to be with him.
I recent read a book given to me by a pastor friend and it was another pastors attempt to answer the question "Why should I come to church?" He gave his best answers from a pastors point of view whose income is based on you agreeing with him (sorry that is a little hulk coming out in me) and he totally missed the point. It is not that people do not want to be a part of THE Church, the family of God, it is just here in America, we have followed the path of those Jesus drove out! We have made it impossible for God to draw close to his people because we have made it so expensive ( huge mega million dollar buildings that require a great personality who requires a large income to keep the people coming and GIVING so the buildings, expansions, and programs can be paid for) so people literally can't afford to get close, or, we have grown the distractions so large that even if you can pay to pray, it is so loud once you get in, you cannot be intimate with Him. It has all become a show or it has become so burden with rules that neither God nor his people can enjoy communion.
Like it or not folks, the Agents of Smash are rising up and the tables will be turned over and the people driven out. The question is not "Why should I go to church?" or "Why aren't people going to church?" or even, "Should we go to church?" What we should be asking is "How can I again enter into my Father's house of prayer and help others come in too?"
Our God is amazing and wonderful! He is mind blowing and marvelous. And what he desires more than anything is to walk with us in that same intimate fellowship He started in the Garden of Eden! And I want it so much too for myself and all those who long for their Father like I do!
David - Agent of Smash
This name will be no surprise to those who have heard it. The famed story of a young shepherd boy versus a giant named Goliath. You almost had to somewhat expect this name to make it on the list. '
However, there is more to this than just a simple story. Yes, David defeated the giant. Yes, the little guy one. Yes, it is probably like you have heard, but there is something deeper here.
The actual fight is found in 1 Samuel 17. This is where we read of how David defeated the giant. However, it is the back story to this agent of Smash that makes this day and this moment in time more incredible.
You see, David was the youngest of a whole lot of strong, strapping young men. He was but a child when all this took place, yet, he had already been anointed to be the future king of Israel. His brothers had gone off to war with Saul against the Philistines and David was left at home to tend the sheep. Only when his father, Jesse, got curious about the battle was David even allowed to go to the battlefield. When he arrived he witnessed this mammoth guy walking out and making fun of God and his people.
David was shocked that God's people would put up with this kind of attitude and mockery of the One, True, Living God. As he asked around he heard about what Saul had offered as a reward to anyone who would go defeat the giant. Davids inquiry into the matter infuriated his brothers and they scolded him for leaving his flocks. However, David Responded in Verse 29, "What have I now done, Is there not a cause?" (KJV) When Saul caught wind of this boy asking about the reward, he summoned David in and David boldly said, "Fear not king, for I will go defeat this man!"
Now get this picture in your head, a BOY offers to go take on the mightiest warrior of the time in the form of a 9 foot tall giant whose armor probably outweighed David himself. This is what Saul is looking at in real life and he simply tells David there is no way he can go. However, David is ready for this response and tells of a lion and a bear he has killed with his bare hands. For some reason, these stories convinced Saul to send David out to face the giant because David said, "If God delivered the lion and bear into my hands, will he not also deliver this giant into my hands?
The rest of the story is common to most folks that David went out, Goliath laughed at him for stepping forward. Goliath told David he was going to feed him to the beast and birds at which David replied in kind stating that God would deliver Goliath into his hands. God did just as David said and Goliath fell to the ground with the simple thud of a rock against his forehead and then David finished the job with Goliath's own sword, beheading the giant.
Again, we see an Agent of Smash delivering God's people from an evil that overwhelmed them. In this case it was a literal man who held them captive by his size and reputation as a warrior. And once again, God decided to winch battle using a boy so that no one could claim glory except for Himself.
Next story, we will talk about Moses!!!
Ray
However, there is more to this than just a simple story. Yes, David defeated the giant. Yes, the little guy one. Yes, it is probably like you have heard, but there is something deeper here.
The actual fight is found in 1 Samuel 17. This is where we read of how David defeated the giant. However, it is the back story to this agent of Smash that makes this day and this moment in time more incredible.
You see, David was the youngest of a whole lot of strong, strapping young men. He was but a child when all this took place, yet, he had already been anointed to be the future king of Israel. His brothers had gone off to war with Saul against the Philistines and David was left at home to tend the sheep. Only when his father, Jesse, got curious about the battle was David even allowed to go to the battlefield. When he arrived he witnessed this mammoth guy walking out and making fun of God and his people.
David was shocked that God's people would put up with this kind of attitude and mockery of the One, True, Living God. As he asked around he heard about what Saul had offered as a reward to anyone who would go defeat the giant. Davids inquiry into the matter infuriated his brothers and they scolded him for leaving his flocks. However, David Responded in Verse 29, "What have I now done, Is there not a cause?" (KJV) When Saul caught wind of this boy asking about the reward, he summoned David in and David boldly said, "Fear not king, for I will go defeat this man!"
Now get this picture in your head, a BOY offers to go take on the mightiest warrior of the time in the form of a 9 foot tall giant whose armor probably outweighed David himself. This is what Saul is looking at in real life and he simply tells David there is no way he can go. However, David is ready for this response and tells of a lion and a bear he has killed with his bare hands. For some reason, these stories convinced Saul to send David out to face the giant because David said, "If God delivered the lion and bear into my hands, will he not also deliver this giant into my hands?
The rest of the story is common to most folks that David went out, Goliath laughed at him for stepping forward. Goliath told David he was going to feed him to the beast and birds at which David replied in kind stating that God would deliver Goliath into his hands. God did just as David said and Goliath fell to the ground with the simple thud of a rock against his forehead and then David finished the job with Goliath's own sword, beheading the giant.
Again, we see an Agent of Smash delivering God's people from an evil that overwhelmed them. In this case it was a literal man who held them captive by his size and reputation as a warrior. And once again, God decided to winch battle using a boy so that no one could claim glory except for Himself.
Next story, we will talk about Moses!!!
Ray
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